That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.
Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, fans certainly found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
Prime Target
We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
